Insomnia
by Starrilight-Hotaru
Summary: It’s been a week, 7 days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes, 604800 seconds. I’ve counted them all. Inside the back of my brain, slowly ticking, like a bomb waiting to explode...
1. Insomnia

Insomnia 

I don't sleep anymore

But can you really describe my resting as sleep

After all I'm not only human

I hate the blood lust

But I need it

I crave it

You can almost say I lust after it

But in the end it doesn't help

I still end up staring at a ceiling

Because I know there is light outside

And I wish to dance in it but

I can't

Not anymore

Because I'm not only human

My eyes have been heavy

For a long time now

But they refuse to close

I've counted sheep

Tried hypnotizing myself

I've taken so many pills

If I were alive I would be dead

And yet I'm still awake

I miss those crystal blues

The ones that used to shut so easily

And allow me to doze without much work

But they have been replaced

By that blood red color

And these eyes see everything

These eyes are eternally tired

These eyes won't rest

I figure I'm going insane

Maybe it's because the thought of eternity scares me

It's did when I was alive

And it still haunts be as I'm dead

I'm sure they all think I'm crazy now

Damn it, I think I'm crazy

Him not being here doesn't help

He only shows up for his own convinces

Never for anyone else's

That's just the way he is

But I wonder does he has problems

With sleeping that is

If I'd ask him

I know he would deny it

He's supposedly all powerful

He allegedly doesn't have a conscience

And when you look in his eyes

You know that his insanity

Is of a different genre than mine

Being conscious too long

Makes one crazy

Hours are drooling enough

Without seeing groups of 24 repeatedly

Lately I've been burying my head in my pillow

Trying to see how long a vampire can survive without air

So far I've gotten to 7 minutes and 45 seconds

But does this even prove that I'm partially living

Maybe if I stopped thinking for a while

I would be able to rest

Or maybe this is my punishment

For not wanting to let go to life

And choosing to cheat death

It's been a week

7 days

168 hours

10080 minutes

604800 seconds

I've counted them all

Inside the back of my brain

Slowly ticking

Like a bomb waiting to explode

Someone help me

My mind can't take this

I'm losing a grip on reality

Or did I even have one in the first place

Insomnia

Don't you have to be living

Insomniac

Is that what I have become

I can't remember

Ever having dreams

I can't forget

The peace and joy of sleep

-Seras Victoria

* * *

I wrote this 500 word drabble because I haven't been sleeping as much as I normally do. I think it's because my mom is constantly bothering me. Or it could be my grades. Or maybe I'm being left with too much time to analyze my life and realize that it really sucks. And it doesn't help that 90 percent of my thoughts are pessimistic. 

I used to get 10-12 hours a night (On a bad night 8) but that's dwindled to about 2-3 if I'm lucky. I'm pretty sure I have fallen into a pit of depression. That or I too am really going insane… Please read and review. This is my first Hellsing fanfic.


	2. Insomnia 2

Seras Victoria walked across the room on unsteady legs toward her dining table and collapsed on the chair. "I'm so tired I don't even have enough energy to eat… I can't move my arms." She muttered as her crimson eyes so deep red and blood shot that they burned attempted again to close.

But all she could do was think and thinking wasn't getting her to sleep. Seras forced her arm up long enough to grab a straw so she could drink from her bowl. She slurped every few seconds until she felt somewhat sick and then forced herself to stop. "I need to lie down…" She whispered as she attempted to stand up. But to her dismay she began to fall forward. Seras mentally prepared herself for the impact with the floor because she was too weak to do anything else but none ever came. She fell into something hard which she automatically snuggled into.

"Police girl, I can't leave you alone for a week without you becoming a helpless kitten…" He said in his normal cool arrogant tone. "So what is it this time? Refusing to eat again?" He asked as a cocky grin engulfed his face.

"Master…" Seras muttered. "I'm just fine…" She said trying to push herself away from him. But he held her upright and looked in her eyes.

His grin disappeared as he studied her eyes. "You haven't been sleeping. A fledgling needs rest police girl, you can't stay up for days at a time…" He said on a serious note.

"I haven't been able to sleep at all…" She muttered before letting out a soft snore into Alucard's chest. He raised an eyebrow at her and carried her to her coffin. He laid her down in it gently which caused her to object in her sleep slightly from being moved but she settled down again. "I really do hate waffles…" Seras muttered as she turned over. "No, I love his eyes… but his hat is funny…"

Alucard grinned so that his fangs flashed as he figured out how to entertain himself until nightfall. "Hey, police girl you talk a lot…"

"No, that ugly… Valentine brother talked… too much… His brother… was hot." She muttered again and then began to snore deeply.

This little bit of information somehow irked him but he continued. "So that one Luke…" Alucard started.

"Is cocky… like master…" Seras muttered as Alucard's blood boiled and his eye twitched behind his shades. "Master's very cocky…"

Alucard stopped himself from growling and stood up. He had tired of this game very quickly. "That's the last time I ask you something police girl. I was just curious as to why you didn't sleep for a week. But I really don't care anymore." Alucard said as he turned around and began to sink into the floor with that cocky grin permanently glued to his face.

"I never sleep well… when master is gone…" Seras whispered in her sleep before stretching herself out and subconsciously wiping drool from the side of her face.

"What?" Alucard asked intrigued by Seras's sleep talking once more.

"It must be insomnia, when he's not around... All I do is think and stare at the ground… Sleep doesn't come or rush like the night... But is fleeting and passing like the darkness into the light…" Seras mumbled.

"You are quite the poet Police Girl. I'll make sure to not leave you alone for so long again…" Alucard said before making his way back to her and lowering her coffin. She smiled at his words and turned over into a comforting much needed sleep.

* * *

"Hey Police Girl, had a nice sleep?" Alucard asked with a huge grin on his face. 

"Actually it was quite fulfilling Master… I haven't slept like that in ages…" Seras said with a bright smile as she shook her head so her hair would fall back into place.

"You know Seras…" Alucard started gaining a gasp from Seras at the use of her name. Not to mention he had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his body. "I don't sleep well when I'm not around you either…"

Seras's eyes widened as if someone had just shot her. He released her and she blushed a bright red as she covered her mouth. "Sleep talking again…" She muttered as Alucard turned his back to her and began to walk toward a wall.

"It must be insomnia, when she's not around... All I do is think and stare at the ground… Sleep doesn't come or rush like the night... But is fleeting and passing like the darkness into the light…" Alucard said stopping right before the wall and then turning back to her. "But it doesn't really matter if the sleep falls like rain… Because in the end I'm a monster and still happily insane…" And with that he disappeared into the wall.

* * *

Started this forever ago, never finished the last part, decided to because I was bored. Please review even though like only 15 people have read this and I have one review. Oh well not my most known work but I like it… Goodnight! 


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